YEAH LEMONS
by GentlemanBones
Summary: Through inexplicable dimensional shenanigans, a big metal alligator lands in a very small bakery. Through even stranger shenanigans, he's put to work as a delivery boy.


"Okay! This part is easy-peasy lemon-squeezy. In fact, here's the lemon squeezer! We need to add just ooone teaspoon of lemon juice to the batter." Pinkie Pie hefted a small metal lever onto the counter top with her teeth, pushing a basket of lemons toward her guest with her muzzle. "Just take one of the halves and set it into the groove, then squeeze over the bowl. Cake!"

"Erugh...hrumph..." There were several grunts of effort, undisciplined claws scraping at the counter, trying to take hold of the equipment without actually being able to look at it. Finally he simply gave up, flopping down onto his hindquarters on the linoleum of the kitchen floor. "ME GRIMLOCK CAN'T REACH WITH TINY ARMS! KITCHEN TOO SMALL FOR KING OF DINOBOTS!" And it was true; it was a miracle of physics that Pinkie was able to fit the massive metal monstrosity that was Grimlock inside Sugarcube Corner at all, let alone squeezing him into the already cramped kitchen.

"Come on, fussy fangs! You shouldn't give up so easily! Here, let me help out." Pinkie retrieved the press again and laid it into Grimlock's palm, his hands obscured by his own huge head. A lemon wedge was selected next, and once it was secure Pinkie backed up and gave Grimlock an approving nod.

"HRUH!" Grimlock managed to bring his hands together and press down on the lever, Pinkie moving the batter bowl under him just in time to catch the juice as it fell. "You did it, Grimmy! You're really strong, look at all that juice! Is there even fruit left in there?"

"GRIMLOCK IS STRONGEST." He tried to raise his head in pride, only managing to obscure his snout in the overhead lamp. His claws reached out and he managed to find and load up another lemon, eagerly squeezing the juice onto the floor. Pinkie had busied herself with pulling the bowl of batter back onto the counter, whipping her tail around while looking for the next ingredient. "Okay, help me look for the salt now. I'm not really sure where it is, Mrs. Cake was using it to draw circles on the floor this morning after walking past the kitchen. I'm not sure why, she's a little silly sometimes."

The front bell rang, and her train of thought went entirely off the rails. "Ooh! A customer! Wait here, I'll be right back." Pinkie darted off to go and greet the new guest; Grimlock was up to three whole lemons.

"Welcome to Sugar Cube Corner! You know, most cubes have eight sides, but there's only one of us. That's pretty special, don'tcha think?" Pinkie leaned over the front counter, front legs laying on it while she rolled along its length with her torso.

"All cubes have eight sides, Pinkie." Twilight commented matter-of-factly, striding slowly to the front desk. "Are the lemon cupcakes ready yet? The Cutie Mark Crusaders want my help getting really good at homework tonight, and a good host should have refreshments prepared."

"Aaalmost!" Pinkie replied excitedly, hopping off the counter and motioning for Twilight to follow her back to the kitchen. "I've got a new hand helping me out today, so it's a little slow. But he's a hard worker, so I'm not worried."

By the time they got back to the kitchen, Grimlock had the whole basket of lemons between his jaws and was slowly squeezing, lemon juice dripping over his chin. Twilight froze in place, hair frizzing out as she quietly panicked. "P-Pinkie! Wh-What in Equestria-what's that monster doing in your kitchen?!"

"Hm? What monster?" Pinkie's head darted around the kitchen, trying to spot something truly scary, like a parasprite. "Nobody here but us! Did you find the salt, Grimlock?" Pinkie ignored Twilight's concerns entirely, walking to the oven to start the preheat process.

"LEMONS SALTY. MORE LEMONS!" Grimlock spat the used wrinds onto the floor, the wicker basket thoroughly mangled by the pressing of his teeth. Pinkie giggled and shook her head. "No, silly! We need salt for its chemical properties, not the flavor! We only need a pinch, so..." Pinkie managed to scoop up some left by Mrs. Cake in a circle around the kitchen and dropped it into the batter bowl. "Get one of the cupcake tins down for me, please!"

Twilight had overcome enough of her nervousness to approach Pinkie's apparent friend. "And just where did...Grimlock...come from?" She came in low, her head lowered to keep from attracting too much attention. Grimlock couldn't see much of anything, anyway.

"He says he's from Dinobot Island. Not really sure where that is, but right now he's in our kitchen, so that's what matters!" Grimlock managed to get a cupcake tin down without bending it too much, dropping it on the counter. Pinkie started filling the spaces with batter.

Twilight continued her interrogation. "Okaaay...but how did you get him to agree to this?"

Grimlock offered the solution to that riddle. "ME GRIMLOCK LIKE CUPCAKES. PINKIE PONY SAYS GRIMLOCK CAN HAVE CUPCAKES IF HE HELPS MAKE SOME."

Twilight just couldn't figure out what to do with these two. Nobody soeemed to be in any kind of danger, and neither of them seemed too interested in the actual logistics of the situation."Well...I guess as long as everything is finishedon time..it's not a big deal. Can I get a buttercream frosting on those cupcakes?"

"Sure thing, Twilight! Grimmy will deliver them for you once they're done. I've got other orders I need to finish while the Cakes are out." Pinkie watched the tin in the oven intently, tail jerking in a circular pattern to count down each second.

"I...really don't think that's a good idea." Just imagining the chaos of the metal monster rampaging through town was enough to make her hair stand up. Princess Celestia would hear about that one for sure. Twilight would never hear the end of it!

"ME GRIMLOCK CAN DO IT. FAST LIKE THE WIND! THEN GRIMLOCK GETS CUPCAKES. IF GRIMLOCK DOESN'T GET CUPCAKES, BIG TROUBLE!" His tail thwacked about behind him, making the shelves in the kitchen shake, threatening to knock everything over.

Twilight relented. "Alright, arlight! Just...please be careful, okay?"

"Don't worry, Twilight! He's an officially sanctioned Sugarcube Corner delivery boy! Satisfaction guaranteed!"

"GRIMLOCK THE BEST!" Twilight sighed and gave in, decided it was best to just wait and see how the situation turned out. There was no arguing with either of them. And it was probably important to trust in her friends...probably. With tremendous effort, Grimlock made it out of the kitchen door, and eventually the exit to the bakery, stomping down the main street of Ponyville.

This was not met favorably by the populace, who by now were very practiced at running home and slamming their doors shut.

Twilight looked back at Pinkie Pie, a suitably concerned expression on her face. "You...did tell him where to go, right?"

This gave Pinkie pause, but she shrugged and got over it. "Eh, he'll figure it out."


End file.
